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An Adult Parody of The Who's Tommy


Chuckie!








  1. Mr. Finster/It's A Boy
  2. Pickle's Nursery Camp
  3. 2001 / What About The Boy?
  4. Amazing Journey
  5. Christmas
  6. Eardrums Every Time
  7. Sugar Queen
  8. Do You Think It's Alright (I)
  9. Cousin Angelica
  10. Do You Think It's Alright (II)
  11. Fiddle About
  12. Do You Think It's Alright (III)
  13. Extra, Extra, Extra
  14. Sandcastle Wizard
  15. Champagne
  16. There's A Doctor
  17. Go To The Mirror
  18. Chuckie Can You Hear Me
  19. Smash The Mirror
  20. I'm Free
  21. Father and Son
  22. Sensation
  23. Miracle Cure
  24. Susuie Carmichael
  25. Welcome
  26. TV Studio
  27. Chuckie's Holiday Camp
  28. We're Not Gonna Take It
  29. Listening To You/See Me, Feel Me







  1. Mr Finster/It's A Boy [ Top ]


    Narrator: Mrs Finster didn't come home.
    Her new born child will never know her.
    We believe her missing with a number of women,
    Don't expect to see her again.
    She's believed to be missing with a number of women,
    Captured in the maternity ward.


    Nurses: It's a boy, Mr. Finster, it's a boy.
    It's a boy, Mr. Finster, it's a boy!
    A son! A son! A son!
    Hear the joyful celebrations in the street!
    It's a boy born on this first day of peace!
    We've won! A son! Chuckie!

  2. Pickle's Nursery Camp [ Top ]


    Stu: I'm your friendly diaper changer,
    And I welcome you to Pickle's Nursery Camp!
    G'day, and you'll be happy,
    And it's me that you will thank.
    You must be little Chuckie.
    Well, call me Uncle Stu.
    Welcome you too, Mr. Finster,
    Here you'll always find a roaming hand!
    The camp with lotsa extras,

    ..... If you come to Pickle's,
    You might think we're Heaven sent!


    Chuckie: I didn't know I had an Uncle Stu...
    I've never met him.
    Lookie, Dad, a cage of budgies!
    A doggie house and clowns, oh Please!
    I'm es-scared, Dad! I wanna go home...
    Well..., it's dark here...
    I can't see what all these people are doing.


    Stu: Here we have the winner, folks!
    Have you ever seen a redder pair?
    What a hairy chested angel...
    How I admire moustached men!
    If you could feel his silken thigh,
    You'd know Stu's in love again!
    If you could feel his silken thigh,
    You'd know.


    Mr Finster: You don't know how
    Much I've missed
    To feel a man again,
    To dance, to kiss.


    Stu:Your eyes reveal
    You're lonely.


    Mr Finster: This evening must pass slowly.
    Until we're one, my heart won't rest.


    Stu:Will Chuckie share our happiness?


    Mr Finster: You don't know how
    Much I've missed
    To feel a man again,
    To dance, to kiss.


    Stu: I'll be more than an uncle;
    I'll be just like a Dad!


    Chuckie: I prefer to not go nakkie,
    And when I'm big, I'll own this camp!
    A camp with a difference,
    And clean diapers.
    When you come to Chuckie's,
    The milk's forever!


    Mr Finster: I'm glad you like your Uncle Stu.
    He'll surely love you too, just like a Dad.


    Chuckie: He's not very nice, I think.
    Is he a part time clown?


    Both:When he's got his diaper on,
    I love him even more.


    Chuckie: Hey! Don't look!
    That's not very polite, you know.

  3. 2001 / What About The Boy? [ Top ]


    Mr Finster: Gotta feeling '98 is gonna be a good year,
    Especially if you and me see it out together.


    Stu: So you think that '98 is gonna be a good year.
    We'll sleep now and see it out together.


    Mr Finster: I have a reason to be really pessimistic,
    When you smile I can smell hot vaseline.
    What about the boy?
    What about the boy?
    What about the boy, he saw it all!


    Stu: You didn't hear it, you didn't see it!
    You won't say nothin' to no one,
    Ever in your life.
    You never heard it.
    How absurd it all seems, baby go poof!


    Mr Finster: You didn't hear it, you didn't see it!
    You won't say nothin' to no one,
    Ever in your life.
    You never heard it.
    How absurd it all seems, baby go poof!


    Both: You didn't hear it, you didn't see it!
    You never heard it, not a word of it!
    You won't say nothin' to no one,
    Cause babies can't talk and that's the truth!

  4. Amazing Journey [ Top ]


    Narrator: Now he is deaf.
    (Huh?)

    Now he is dumb.
    (Hey!)

    Now he is blind.
    (I'm not blind, I just use extra eyes... it makes it easier to see up close.)

    The guilty are safe,
    (We're doomed!)

    But always accused by his empty eyes.
    (I can see, I just can't talk big people talk, you know?)

    Nothing to say,
    (Not yet...I'm only two... well... one and a half.)

    Nothing to hear,
    (Sing a happy song...sing a happy, happy song! I love those Dummi Bears!)

    And nothing to see.
    (Reptar is not on yet. He's on at yellow bus time.
    You know, when the bus drops off the big kids from school.)

    Each sensation makes a note in his symphony.
    (Do you know about Mary and her lambs? They're nice...)

    Sickness will surely take the mind
    (Not true, I'm not crazy... just a little es-scared of clowns!)

    Where minds can't usually go.
    (Just because I saw my dad and another man...)

    Come on the amazing journey,
    (Hey! What was Uncle Stu doing to my daddy's...)

    And learn all you should know.
    (Bottom?)

    A vague haze of delirium creeps up on him.
    (Ew, I don't feel so good. I think I'm gonna be sick...)

    Soaring and flying images spin.
    (Glllpppppp!)

    He is your leader, he is your guide.
    (Whew! That's better...)

    On the amazing journey,
    (Too much milk...)

    Together you'll ride.
    (I'm not going anywhere without a new diaper!)

    Sickness will surely take the mind
    (A mind is a terrible thing to waste!)

    Where minds can't usually go.
    (I can't go anywhere without my dad.)

    Come on the amazing journey,
    (To the back yard? To the moon? To the bottom of the ocean?)

    And learn all you should know.
    (Uh-oh... I shouldn't a-mention bottom again!)

    His eyes are the eyes that transmit all he knows,
    (I miss my mommy...Well, I would miss her, if I had ever knowed her.)

    The truth burns so bright it can melt winter snows.
    (So Uncle Stu is going to be my daddy?)

    A towering shadow, so black and so high,
    (He's got a huge... what do you call those?)

    A white sun burning the earth and the sky.
    (Now daddy can be my mom...)

  5. Christmas [ Top ]


    Mr Finster: Did you ever see the faces
    Of the babies, they get so excited.
    Waking up on Christmas morning
    Remembering what they've never seen...
    They believe in dreams and all they mean,
    Including Santa's generosity.
    Peeping 'round the door to see if empty
    Cardboard boxes are in their vicinity
    And Chuckie doesn't know what day it is.
    He doesn't know who Flintstone was,
    Or Tommy is.


    Chorus: How can he be saved
    From the eternal grave?


    Stu: Chuckie, can you hear me?
    Chuckie, can you hear me?


    Mr Finster: Chuckie, can you hear me?
    Chuckie, can you hear me?
    Chuckie, can you hear me?
    Can you?


    Stu: Chuckie, can you hear me?


    Mr Finster: Can you hear me?


    Chorus: How can he be saved?


    Chuckie: See me, feed me, bathe me, powder me.
    See me, feed me, bathe me, diaper me.


    Both: Chuckie, can you hear me?
    Chuckie, can you hear me?


    Chorus: How can he be saved?


    Stu: Surrounded by his friends,
    He sits so silently and
    Unaware of anything.
    Playing in a sandbox with God what knows,
    He smiles, he cries,
    He pokes his tongue at everything.


    Mr Finster: I believe in love,
    But how can men who've never seen light
    Be enlightened?
    Only if he's cured
    Will his spirit's future level
    Ever heighten.


    Stu: And Chuckie doesn't know what day it is.


    Mr Finster: He doesn't know who Flinstone was,
    Or Tommy is.


    Chorus: How can he be saved
    From the eternal grave?

  6. Eardrums Every Time [ Top ]


    Phil: You talk about your twin sister,
    I wish you could see mine.
    You talk about your twin sister,
    I wish you could see mine.
    And when she starts to cryin',
    Lillian bursts eardrums every time.
    Oh, yeah,

    You know, our daddy gave her candy.
    I can tell by the way she crawls.
    He didn't give me nothin' I won't let her have it all...
    Now she gots to hide to eat it,
    There it is, she dropped it!
    I just won't let her have it all!
    Woooh, crawl, stall.

    She's just out to get you,
    Hide your toys.
    She's just out to get you,
    Hide your toys.
    Just one squall from her lips,
    And you can't escape the noise.


    Lillian: Heeeeyyyyyyy, Philllllllip!

  7. Sugar Queen [ Top ]


    Lillian: If your Chuckie ain't all he should be now,
    This girl will put him right.
    I'll show him what he could be now,
    Just give me one night!
    I'm Hyper-Baby, the Sugar Queen,
    Pay me in Reptar bars!
    Eat 'em baby, they're guaranteed
    To turn your tongue bright green.

    Give us a room in the playpen.
    Leave us for a while.
    Your boy won't be a baby no more;
    Diapered, but not a child!

    'Cause I'm Hyper-Baby, the Sugar Queen,
    Pay me in Reptar bars.
    I'm the Baby, and I'm guaranteed
    To tear your crib apart.

    Gimme choc'late cake or a cookie will do...
    I'm gonna force them in
    Just as the Sugar Queen must do,
    Chuckie's tummy will control him!

    My work is done, now look at him.
    He's never been more alive.
    His head it shakes, his fingers clutch.
    Watch his belly thrive!

    I'm the Hyper-Baby, the Sugar Queen,
    Pay me in Reptar bars!
    Reptar, baby, they're guaranteed
    To turn his tongue bright green.

    If your child ain't all he should be now,
    This girl will put him right.
    I'll show him what he could be now,
    Just give me one more night!

    I'm Hyper-Baby, the Sugar Queen,
    Pay me in Reptar bars!
    Reptar, baby, they're guaranteed
    To turn his tongue bright green.

  8. Do You Think It's Alright (I) [ Top ]


    Mr Finster: Do you think it's alright
    To leave the boy with Cousin Angelica?
    Do you think it's alright?
    There's something 'bout her I
    Don't really like.
    Do you think it's alright?


    Stu: I think it's alright,
    Yes, I think it's alright.

  9. Cousin Angelica [ Top ]


    Angelica: We're on our own, cousin.
    All alone, cousin.
    Let's think of a game to play
    Now the grownups have all gone away.

    You won't be much fun,
    Babies are stupid, you sure look dumb,
    But I've no one to play with today.

    Do you know Tommy or Phil and Lil?
    Have you seen Susie? Think you ever will?
    Course with that wierd hair,
    You won't get anywhere.
    You look like a clown, Chuckie's a freak!
    How would you feel if I turned out the pup,
    Told Spike "Come over, get his leg and pump" ?
    Maybe your glasses, I'll suddenly take
    I'll drop them and crush them, "Oh my, did they break?"

    I'm the sandbox bully,
    The playground cheat,
    The evilest girl cousin
    You ever could meet.

    I'll put oatmeal in your bottle,
    and gum in your hair.
    I'll drag you around
    With a dress I can spare,
    And have you in heels
    Femininity? I swear!

    What would you do if I
    Opened up the playpen
    Opened the door
    Let lots of clowns in?

    I'm the sandbox bully,
    The playground cheat,
    The evilest girl cousin
    You ever could meet.
    I'll diaper your head,
    Leave you naked in the street

    We're on our own, cousin.
    All alone, cousin.
    We've thought of some nice games to play
    While the grownups has all gone away.
    You weren't too much fun,
    'Cause you're red headed and dumb,
    But I'm being a good girl today.

  10. Do You Think It's Alright (II) [ Top ]

    Mr Finster: Do you think it's alright
    To leave the boy with Grampa Pickles?
    Do you think it's alright?
    He's had a few too many tonight.
    Do you think it's alright?


    Stu: Yes, I think it's alright,
    Yes, I think it's alright.

  11. Fiddle About [ Top ]


    Grampa Pickles: I'm your devoted Grampa Pickles;
    I'm glad you can't talk about me,
    As I fiddle about, fiddle about, for fifteen miles.
    Your father left me here to mind you,
    I'll tell you about how I used to have to...
    Fiddling about, fiddling about, for fifteen miles.
    Into your bedclothes,
    Off with your diaper.
    Fiddle about, fiddle about, fifteen miles.
    You can't tell a soul
    If I wank for fifteen miles
    Fiddle about, fiddle about, fifteen miles.

  12. Do You Think It's Alright (III) [ Top ]

    Mr Finster: Do you think it's alright
    Leaving Chuckie by the mirror?
    You would think he wasn't right,
    Been staring half the night.
    Do you think it's alright?


    Stu: Yes, I think it's alright,
    Yes, I think it's alright.

  13. Extra, Extra, Extra [ Top ]


    Chorus: Extra, extra, Mirrorland bonanza!
    Dumb looking redhead makes the big game!
    Saturday, the final, he faces the champ!
    Extra, extra, extra!
    Mirrorland, the big time, a lifetime at hand!
    You can rule the world from Mirrorland today!
    Milk starts flowing, you're a popular, boy!
    "C'mon, Mirrorboy, let's play!"
    Chuckie's head is spinning,
    Dizzy beyond compare,
    Chuckie only looks and stares...
    Hurry to the show,
    We're nearly on the air!
    Extra, extra!

  14. Sandcastle Wizard [ Top ]


    Tommy: Ever since I was a baby,
    I've played in my sandbox.
    From my house down to Susie's,
    I've played in them all.
    But I ain't seen nothin' like him
    On any playground at all
    That dumb looking, blind kid
    Sure makes a great castle...

    He stands like a scarecrow,
    Becomes part of the scenery,
    Feelin' all es-scared-e-cat,
    Too afraid to cheat.
    He runs to indecision,
    Makes no sense at all,
    That dumb looking blind kid
    Sure makes a great castle!

    He's a sandcastle wizard,
    There has to be a twist.
    A sandcastle wizard,
    Got such a supple wrist!


    Phil: How do you think he does it?


    Tommy: I dunno!


    Lillian: What makes him so good?


    Tommy: Well, he ain't got no distractions,
    Can't hear his daddy's yells
    Don't see lights a-flashing,
    He builds upon his smells.
    Always has a shovel,
    No empty pail at all,
    That dumb looking blind kid
    Sure plays a great sandbox.

    He can't beat me now,
    I've always been the champ!
    I know it's a trick!
    No freak's gonna beat my hand!

    He can beat my bestest castle,
    Mirrorboy can't beat this test...
    Angelica just leads him in,
    And he just does the rest.
    He's got crazy poking fingers,
    Nothing he builds ever falls.
    That dumb looking blind kid
    Sure plays a great sandbox

    He's a sandcastle wizard,
    There has to be a twist.
    A sandcastle wizard,
    Got such a supple wrist!
    He's a sandcastle wizard
    He builds even more!
    A sandcastle wizard,
    The world's new moat lord!
    He's the moat lord!
    He's the moat lord!

    I thought I was the sand box king,
    But I just handed my cartoon crown to him.
    To him! To him!

  15. Champagne [ Top ]


    Mr Finster: It rains in Spain!
    Manly on the main plain!
    A phallus unmaimed!
    A life of sex so strange, sex so deranged!
    It rains in Spain, flows like Champagne,
    Condoms for breakfast every day!
    Merchant marines and men in great yachts and ...
    Doctors and lawyers and private sand.


    Chuckie: See me, feed me, bathe me, powder me.
    See me, feed me, bathe me, diaper me.


    Mr Finster: They flock in, thousands strong.
    Drop our pants, play along.
    A million in reserve.
    For my libido, I now serve, we deserve!
    Birds and flowers on Angelica's wings,
    Sequined gowns on opulent drag queens!
    Private planes and silent cranes.
    Bigger castles and bigger complaints.
    But what's it all worth?
    What's it all worth when my son is a geek?
    He can't understand the sacrifice of my physique.
    His life is painless, so unlike mine.
    I'd pay any price to drive Uncle Stu from his mind!


    Chuckie: See me, feed me, bathe me, powder me.
    See me, feed me, bathe me, diaper me.

    (SMASH!)

  16. There's A Doctor [ Top ]


    Stu: There's a psychologist I've found
    Dr. Lipschitz, no goy!
    There's a psychologist I've found, can save the boy!
    A psychologist I've found, can save the boy!
    There's a psychologist I've found, could blame his red hair,
    He lives in this town, do not despair!


    Mr Finster: I will not despair!

  17. Go To The Mirror [ Top ]


    Dr. Lipschitz: His youth is fleeting, try to protect it,
    The tests all showed a trace of rust,
    His age advances, the dials detect it.
    He hears but cannot accept your trust.


    Chuckie: See me, feed me, bathe me, powder me.
    See me, feed me, bathe me, diaper me.


    Dr. Lipschitz: There is a small chance, an incidental operation
    Designed to set Chuckie's spirit free...
    Imagine though the shock from isolation,
    When he suddenly can hear and speak and think.


    Chuckie: See me, feed me, bathe me, powder me.
    See me, feed me, bathe me, diaper me.


    Dr. Lipschitz: His body writhes in fits of pain
    Although his baby lips can't complain
    This won't take but just a sec...
    Nevermind, late to the punch...
    A Freudian slip, a fraudulent hunch...


    Mr Finster: I often wonder what he's feeling.
    Has he understood a word that I've said?
    Look at him, now in the mirror dreaming.
    What is happening in his head?
    What is happening in his head?
    Oooooh, I wish I knew, I wish I knew.

  18. Chuckie Can You Hear Me [ Top ]


    Mr Finster: Chuckie, can you see me?
    Can I help to cheer you?
    Chuckie, can you hear me?
    Do you miss your mommy too?
    Oooh, Chuckie, Chuckie, Chuckie, Chuckie...

    Chuckie, can you hear me?
    Can you feel me near you?
    Chuckie, can you see me?
    Can you learn to love Stu?
    Oooh, Chuckie, Chuckie, Chuckie, Chuckie, Chuckie, Chuckie.

  19. Smash The Mirror [ Top ]


    Mr Finster: You don't answer my call
    (You know babies can't talk...)

    With even a nod or a twitch
    (Well, you once said, life's a bitch...)

    But you gaze at your own reflection!
    (No I'm not! I'm looking into Mirrorland!)

    You don't seem to see me
    (It's really neat!)

    But I think you can see yourself.
    (They do everything backwards in Mirrorland...)

    How can the mirror affect you?
    (Well that Mirror Boy could start by moving out
    of my way when I try to enter Mirrorland!)

    Can you hear me
    (Huh?)

    Or do I surmise
    (Hey!)

    That you fear me can you feel my temper
    Rise, rise, rise, rise, rise,
    Rise, rise, rise, rise, rise,
    Rise, rise, rise!
    Do you hear or fear or
    Do I smash the mirror?
    Do you hear or fear or
    Do I smash the mirror?
    (What are we gonna do now, Mirror Chuckie?)

    (SMASH!)

  20. I'm Free [ Top ]


    Chuckie: I'm free -- I'm free,
    But growed ups sound like gibberish to me!
    I'm free -- I'm free,
    And I'm waiting for you to powder me.

    If I told you what it takes
    To reach the highest high,
    From "Ice Cream Mountain" to the moon
    The top is never reached too soon
    Daddy's running through the door
    Too late, the potty's spilled on the floor...

    I'm free -- I'm free,
    And I'm waiting for you to powder me.
    I'm free -- I'm free,
    And I'm waiting for you to diaper me...
    Oh, hi Spike!

  21. Father and Son [ Top ]


    Mr Finster: Chuckie, can you hear me?
    Chuckie, can you hear me?
    Chuckie, can you hear me?
    Chuckie, can you hear me?
    Chuckie, Chuckie, Chuckie, Chuckie!


    Chuckie: Hey guys!
    Touch me, feel me.
    Who am I, where is my mother?
    Have you known me, have you seen me?
    Hi, dad!


    Stu: You're a hero! You are famous!
    You're a champion cartoon!
    You are rich, but it's so absurd to try
    To explain all the things you've done.
    You're world famous and loved;
    Thousands watch you play
    Sandbox, castles! It's a fever!
    And you're the master of the moats
    And now that you talk,
    You'll be champion of their very souls.


    Chuckie: Yes, I spoke! I said two words!
    Delivered from silent realm
    No more muted clown dreams
    Or stifled baby screams.

    Sand sculptures, wow! What I see now before me
    Is far beyond mirror play,
    Beyond your wildest dreams!
    Those who love me
    Have a higher path to follow now.
    And you, dear father, too
    Must be prepared!

    Hi, Spike!

  22. Sensation [ Top ]


    Narrator: While Chuckie grows, the world is turning.
    Life goes on for you and me.
    Our chief concern, orgasmic yearning,
    Why can't great sex set us free?
    Can't you feel him?
    Can't you feel him?
    Can't you feel him?
    Can't you feel him?

    (BANG! OUCH! HEY!)


    Chuckie: Hi guys, here I come!
    Wow! This is really neat!
    Tommy, Phil, Lil, look at me!
    I'm a sensation.
    I'm a sensation.

    Take your seat, I have vocal liberation!
    Make those Mirrorboys, go outside...
    Boppo bows at once before me
    Second glance when I've gone by,
    So worship me, I'm a stuper hero
    Starry eyed, you get your chance,
    Lotsa stutters and with pinched cheeks...

    Hi, Spike!

    I said it again...
    I said it again...

    I leave a trail happy hearts
    The growed ups I touched now follow mindless
    Dummi Bears, they're just like cartoons...
    Sing a happy, happy song!

    Hi, Dummis!

    I don't know, maybe this wasn't such a good idea...

  23. Miracle Cure [ Top ]


    Newsboys: Extra, extra, read all about it!
    Sandbox Wizard in a miracle cure!
    Extra, extra, read all about it!
    Extra, Extra!
    Right now, right now, story and pictures
    Sandcastle bonanza, a father's joy!
    ... to show times, lessons and actors.
    Extra, extra!

  24. Susie Carmichael [ Top ]


    Narrator:Outside the house Mr. Carmichael announced
    That Susie couldn't meet with Chuckie
    He went on cleaning his leather golf bag
    And she ran inside weeping.

    She got to her room and tears splashed the mirror
    Of the new pariah
    Pounding the glass with a heavy hand
    And fell into Mirrorland!
    She knew from the start
    Deep down in her heart
    That she and Chuckie were worlds apart,
    But her Mirror mother said, "Go for him girl, your part...
    Is to be what you'll be."

    The theme of the speech was come unto Chuckie,
    Mirror Love is okay, she was so lucky,
    So Susie decided to ignore her dad,
    And meet Chuckie anyway!
    She spent all afternoon getting ready,
    Decided she'd try to touch him,
    Maybe he'd see that she was now three
    And talk to her this Saturday.

    She knew from the start
    Deep down in her heart
    That she and Chuckie were worlds apart,
    But her Mirror mother said, "Go for him girl, your part...
    Is to be what you'll be."

    She left the Mirrorland with both fists swinging
    To find her mother with hands upon hips
    Her father in the doorway pursing his lips
    And Susie just stood there crying.
    She spat and ran back into the Mirrorland
    Right back into the midst of the pane
    And Mother and Father ran waving and shouting
    Into broken glass bursting forth on their floor
    But no Susie was found, Mirrorland closed now evermore...

    Little Susie was lost as the parents tossed
    Their beliefs into the wind!


    Chuckie: Your entrance brings closure to the Mirror
    You cannot now return.
    The broken doorway of Mirrorland
    Prevents a quick return
    The Mirrorland I know so well
    Reflects a backwards way of life.
    Susie, get used to a backwards life
    Wear your shoes upon your hands!


    Narrator: She knew from the start
    Deep down in her heart
    That she and Chuckie were worlds apart,
    But her Mirror mother said, "Go for him girl, your part...
    Is to be what you'll be."
    Mirrorland Father, said "Chuckie is great.
    Too bad he will never be here..."


    Chuckie: Try to talk in babytalk,
    Never mind the growed ups you hear
    Speaking gibberish... big words so queer...
    In your heart keep a place reknown
    Sing a happy, happy song...
    Dummi Bears, Reptar, Boppo, and clown!


    Narrator: The babies went crazy
    As Chuckie left the playpen!
    Little Susie was lost for the price of a touch
    A Mirrorland dream about a forbidden embrace.
    Where Mother and Father encouraged her advances,
    And no Mirror Chuckie, by hook, crook or chances...
    But her Mirror mother said, "Go for him girl, your part...
    Is to be what you'll be."

  25. Welcome [ Top ]


    Chuckie: Come to my playpen,
    Be one of the babies again
    Come to the crib,
    We're drinking warm milk,
    Never crying.
    Mailman come in!
    Just don't mind Spike...
    Little old lady, welcome,
    But don't take off your shoes... they stink worse than Tommy's diapers...
    And don't bring in
    Any clowns! They're really scary!


    Boris and Minka: Come to this house
    Just keep it simple
    Make this your temple,
    You're one of us.


    Chuckie: You can help
    To spread the news
    Babies got brains
    But to talk is no use...
    Come to this playpen,
    Into this crib!
    Just don't ask my Dad
    To bring over Uncle Stu

    From Tommy's to Angelica's
    From the backyard to the moon
    Come into this playpen... into this crib...
    What are we gonna do now, Tommy?
    How do we get rid of all these big people?


All: Come to this house,
Be one of the babies again
With Chuckie we're home,
Drinking milk warm, safe, serene...


Mr. Finster: Hello, Chuckie, there's more at the door.
Look, upon the floor.
There's more at the door.
There's more at the door.
There's more at the door.
There's more at the door.
There's more at the door.
There's more at the door.
There's more at the door.
There's more!


Chuckie: We need more room,
Tommy must help,
Give me a sign
Tommy, do tell...


Tommy: I gotta idea!
Build an extension.
A colorful palace,
Spare no expense, now!
Come to this playpen,
Be one of us.
Make this your crib,
Be one of us.
Come to me now!
Come to me now!
Welcome!
Welcome!


Chuckie: Tommy, you're always trying to steal my thunder.
This is MY musical, not yours.
You folks make yourself home next to me,
Tommy was just leaving,
Weren't you Tommy? And take Phil and Lil with you!

I'm ready for my close-up Mr. De Ville.

26. TV Studio [ Top ]


Mr. Finster: To raise your weary spirits high,
My son will teach your silent hearts
To sing!
Every home will have a Chuckie cell
Pilgrims all will touch his cartoon image
Sandcastles, mirrors everywhere,
Altars to Chuckie's musical plan!


Stu: New York, London, Paris, Munich
Everybody's talking about
Chuck music... talk about
Chuck music!
Shoobie doobie doo wop
Bop bop doo wop
Shoobie doobie doo wop
Bop bop doo wop
Chuck music!
Do you read me?
Loud and clear... Chuck music!


Chuckie: I don't think I like this Empty Vee

27. Chuckie's Holiday Camp [ Top ]


Uncle Stu: Good morning, fans!
I'm your Cousin Stu,
And I welcome you to Chuckie's Nursery Camp!
The camp with a difference, no dirty diapers,
When you come to Chuckie's, the milk's forever!
Welcome!

Get your Chuckie T-shirts, and your stickers,
And your Chuckie mirrors to smash!
Don't rush, keep steady,
Have your requests ready!
Chuckie is yours for the taking,
He's ready to learn bout the money he's raking...

Bless your heart! (ka-ching!)
Sandcastles on rye,
Keep in line, I've got a huge supply!
Get your Chuckie recorded tapes,
You can really hear the sound he makes! (Hi, Spike!)

Chuckie pics for sale to protesters,
An absolute must... an absolute must!
You lucky babies!
The camp with a difference, no dirty diapers,
When you come to Tommy's, the milk's forever!

28. We're Not Gonna Take It [ Top ]


All: This material crap doesn't reach us!
Your rugrat wealth cannot teach us!
Chuckie's a scaredy cat imperius!
Susie's no longer with us!
How can all this worthless trivia
Take us to your Nirvana?
We came here to be like Chuckie,
To find the world he's beseeched!
This material crap doesn't reach us!
Your rugrat wealth cannot teach us!
Chuckie's a scaredy cat imperius!
Susie's no longer with us!
How can all this worthless trivia
Take us to your Nirvana?
We came here to be like Chuckie,
To find the world he's beseeched!


Chuckie: Welcome to the camp!
I guess you all know why we're here.
My name is Chuckie, and I became aware this year.
If you want to follow me,
You've got to build sandcastles
Or maybe not, I don't know...
What are we gonna do now, Tommy?
I'm scared!
This is too much!
I'm a baby, not a human being...

First, I had to find my daddy with
This bizarre Uncle Stu
Then I had to endure Phil and Lil
Then Angelica came along
She scares me and she's real bad, Tommy, real bad!
Susie's trapped forever and ever in Mirrorland
Why did I ever find that awful place?
She's never coming back and it's dark in there... and spooky!
Tommy, this is all too much,
Make it go away...
All these people standing around
You just know, some of them are clowns...
I won't say nothing no more
Talking big people talk started it all
From now on it's babytalk
Or no talking at all

Oh, hi Spike!


All: We're not gonna watch it.
We're not gonna watch it.
We're not gonna watch it.
We're not gonna watch it.
We're not gonna watch it, Won't pay that cable bill,
We don't have to take it.
Gonna break it!
Gonna shake it!
Let's forget TV better still!

We're not gonna watch it.
We're not gonna watch it.
We're not gonna watch it.
We're not gonna watch it.
We're not gonna watch it,
Never did and never will,
Don't want no superstition,
As far as we can tell!
We ain't gonna watch you,
Never did and never will!

We ain't gonna watch you,
We rebuke you,
And forget you,
Let's seduce you better still!

29. Listening To You/See Me, Feel Me [ Top ]


Chuckie:See me, feed me, bathe me, powder me.
See me, feed me, bathe me, diaper me.
See me, feed me, bathe me, powder me.
See me, feed me, bathe me, diaper me.


All: Chasing after you, I get so nervous
Gazing at you, I feel frantic
Following you I get asthmatic
I go into dry heaves at your feet...

Right behind you I see vermilion
With you, I feel defeat
From you I feel antiquated
I go into dry heaves at your feet

Chasing after you, I get so nervous
Gazing at you, I feel frantic
Following you I get asthmatic
I go into dry heaves at your feet...

Right behind you I see vermilion
With you, I feel defeat
From you I feel antiquated
I go into dry heaves at your feet


All: Chasing after you, I get so nervous
Gazing at you, I feel frantic
Following you I get asthmatic
I go into dry heaves at your feet...

Right behind you I see vermilion
With you, I feel defeat
From you I feel antiquated
I go into dry heaves at your feet

Chasing after you, I get so nervous
Gazing at you, I feel frantic
Following you I get asthmatic
I go into dry heaves at your feet...

Right behind you I see vermilion
With you, I feel defeat
From you I feel antiquated
I go into dry heaves at your feet



You Are Chuckie Disciple # WOW!
1997-2000 CARCEN Productions ~ Written November 1997